-
If
you want instant coffee, you'll
have to wait... unless you put it in a microwave which could actually
make you go back in time.
-
If
you match left-handed coffee mugs
with right-handed saucers and put them on a decaffeinated coffee table
no one will likely notice until it's too late.
-
If
the health inspector condemns
your coffee machine don't be afraid to be an individual and espresso
yourself.
-
If
you drink your coffee strong and
black, you'll never be latte'.
-
Just
have enough coffee to tide
yourself over until you need more. Slow down when you're shaking too
much to hold the cup.
-
Breakfast
should never be a pot of
coffee and a straw.
A Coffee and Toast
Kona,
Mocha Java, Antigua, Terrazu, Sumatra -
we travel around the world for the berry beans that subsequently
traverse our
preparatory, personal, and purgatory plumbing. Symbiotically we, and
the beans,
make each other immerge from our shells to find comfort and faith in a
nice warm
cup of diluted deity. Ah, that's the stuff!
From the
earliest jitterbugging African goat
sightings the bean has been conspicuous, occasionally outlawed,
and an ironic fuel which, like
petroleum, had no value just a few short centuries ago.
Cafés, once considered sources of intrigue, were prohibited in France. Frederick
the Great of Prussia, too, wanted to make coffee
out-of-bounds in order to
encourage his subjects to drink more beer and keep the money from
leaving the
country. The British, on the other hand, embraced the sowing of the
bean in
cafes as good for business. Cafés
were called “Penny Universities” for all that you could learn from the
conversations therein for the cost of a one-penny cup. Lloyd’s
of London was
once a café that started ensuring seafaring cargos as a sideline. The London Stock
Exchange too started as a café.
Coffee
even predicts the weather
and helps us to lose weight. The bubbles in a cup will tell you what
the day’s
weather will be if you stare at it before adding milk. If the bubbles
float
toward the rim, the pressure is low and clouds and stormy weather can
be
expected. If the bubbles float to the center, the pressure is high and
fair
weather is likely. When it comes to working out, while not a
recommended
regimen, if combined with aerobic exercise it helps free up fat cells
making
them burn off more readily.
Coffee
shares our consciousness,
is best sweetened by good company, has bean around and gets things
started. A toast to
you and your coffee: May your cup run over with warm comfort,
sweetness, and cordial vigour!
Coffee Trivia
1.
What colour are the leaves of coffee trees?
2.
Are coffee beans… beans? If
not,
what are they?
3.
Within $25 how much does the rarest coffee in the world cost?
4.
How many berries does it take to make one pound of coffee?
5.
Is coffee good for sobering up a drunk person?
Coffee
Trivia Answers
Polish Joke
One
evening a man was eating at a diner, when a well-dressed man sitting
next to him
said, "Excuse me for intruding, but I could not help noticing your
accent.
Are you from Krakow?"
"Yes, I am," replied the surprised man.
"It is so nice to meet a fellow kinsman over here," said the
well-dressed man. "I tell you what: I am a vice-president at Smedley
&
Sons. If you ever need a job, give me a call and I will be happy to set
you
up."
Six
months go by, and the man loses his job, and decides to call his new
friend. He
had completely forgotten the man's name at this point, so he decided to
take a
shot in the dark. The receptionist answered, and he asked, "Pardon me,
do
you have a Krakauer there?"
"Sir," the receptionist
replied, "we don't even get a coffee break!"
