You
have to watch videos in
fast-forward to prevent boredom.
You
buy sugar by the barrel.
Kramer
of Seinfeld thinks you
need to calm down.
Your
survival kit has a pound of
coffee & a grinder.
You
don't sweat,
you percolate.
Your
life's goal
is to amount to a hill of beans.
When
someone say's
"How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop".
Your
birthday is a
national holiday in Brazil.
You're
willing to
spend time in a Turkish prison.
You
answer the
door before people knock.
The
only time
you're standing still is during an earthquake.
You
can take a
picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You
lick your
coffeepot clean.
You're
so jittery
that people use your hands to blend their milk shakes.
You
can type sixty
words per minute with your feet.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
All
your kids are
named "Joe".
Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low".
You've
worn out
the handle on your favorite mug.
You
go to AA
meetings just for the free coffee.
You've
built a
miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Ninety-nine more, I'll have a cup."
Instant coffee takes too long.
You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
You don't tan - you roast and you don't get mad - you get steamed.
You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You want to reincarnate as a coffee mug.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position
You buy milk by the barrel
The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you
You have a breakdown over spilled milk
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
You want to be cremated when you die just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
Everything Good about Everything Good