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Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.

Quantum particles: The dreams that stuff is made of.


Rabbit: Small portion of a Rabbi.

Racism: 1) Convincing argument against proponent’s racial superiority. 2) Pigment of the imagination.

Radioactive: Individual who can't work without music.

Rally: Truly.

Ramification: Consequence forced down one's throat.

Ramshackle: Chains for a male sheep.

Ratification:  Adorning your home with rodents.

Rats: Entitled power or privileges. ie. "We’re willing to fat for our rats."

Reasoning Circular: See Circular Reasoning.

Receding hare line: A bunch of bunnies hopping backwards.

Recovery Room: Upholstering chamber.  

Recursive: (see Recursive)

Refined: Locate again.

Relationships: All the yachts your family owns.

Relief: What trees do in the spring

Reintarnation: Returning in your next life as a hillbilly.



2 shud be 5.  2's rally "No Whittled Idols.".

3's gud advace but, made up so, breakin' itself.   3's rally "Don't use God as a cuss word.".

4. "Sunday's Holy.".

5's frum Luke'n Mathew with "an everyun's just lak you" added. (The Prime Directive.)  5's 2.

8 an 9 er switched.


Repercussions: Consequences of playing drums loudly.

Reputation: What others are not thinking about you.

Research: To look for something twice.

Reservations:  Why natives were here first and what they had about us.

Resume':  The closest most come to perfection.

Retard: Past tense of retire.

Rhode Island: Texas after Canadian taxes.

Rocks: The original unfinished furniture.  

Rootine: Dental work.

Rose: Colour the sun was at dawn.

Rotisserie: A Ferris wheel for chickens.

Rubberneck: What you do to relax your wife

Russian: Guy who sits on nothing and dances.

Rustle: The sound of cows being stolen.


Sailing: Mast transit. 

Sales talk: Trade wind.

Sandwich: An faulty attempt to make both ends meat. 

Sarcasm: 1) Barbed Ire. 2) Quiplash.

Scamp: Camp for impish people.

Scamper: The silly way they walk in scamps.

Scar: Rolled tobacco leaf.

School: Building with four walls and tomorrow inside.

Schwiggle: The amusing rotation of one's bottom while sharpening a pencil.

Sculptor: A poor guy who makes faces and busts.

Season: Neptune's kid. 

Seamstress: 50 pounds in a size six.

Secret: Something we tell everyone not to tell anyone.

Secretion: Hiding something.

Security: What guards drink.

Sedimental: Sappy syrupy sloppy gush.

Seed:  Past tense of the verb 'to see'.

Seizure: Roman Emperor.

Selfish: What the owner of a seafood store does.

Semantics: Pranks conducted by young priesthood students.

Semi-conductor: One who directs 18 wheelers.

Senility: When you're years beyond your wise.

Shakespeare: What to do to frighten the enemy.

Shamrock: Cubic zirconia.

Shellfish: A lobster that wants everything his way.

Sharewear: Used clothing.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Shipment: Sent by car, as opposed to cargo, which is sent by ship.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

Silicon: An idiotic prisoner

Silverfish: Less valuable than a goldfish.

Single:  Footloose and fiancée free.

Skinheads: More hair than brains.

Skydiving: Good till the last drop.

Slay ride. Automobile excursion with a Mafia hitman.

Sleep: 1) A poor substitute for caffeine. 2) Fleeting moment just before the alarm.

Sleeping bag: Nap sack.

Smile: 1) Mirth Mark. 2) Curve that sets things straight.

Snackmosphere: The 95% air inside bags of potato chips.

Snowbank: Where Eskimos keep their money.

Spare Time: You're lookin' at it.

Spelunk: The sound someone makes when they hit the bottom of a cave.

Spinster: Woman who has never learned to tie a beau.

Spokesperson: Bicycle wheel manufacturer.

Spongecake: Dessert made of borrowed ingredients.

Squeegie Begger:  Windshield viper.

Stagecoach: Drama teacher.

Stain: Remain inside.

Stick: A boomerang that doesn’t work.

Subdued: Like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man

Sudzicle: Ice-cold beer.

Sunbather: A fry in the ointment.

Sunburn: Getting more than you basked for.

Supercomputer: What it sounded like before you bought it.

Supreme Court: (1) It corrects the errors of the lower courts by perpetuating its own.  (2) Where people go if they have anything left after getting out of the lower courts

Surrogate mother: Hired labour.


Suspicion: Why do you want to know?

Symphony: Pretending to feel sad for someone.

Synonym: Spice for baked apples or buns

Syntax: Money collected in church.



Tablet: Small table.

Tact: 1) Getting your point across without stabbing someone with it. 2) Recalling a lady’s birthday but forgetting her age.  3) Knowing how far to go too far.4) Rubbing out another's mistake instead or rubbing it in. 5) Describing others as they see themselves. 

Tactics: Breath fresheners for dyslexics.  

Tar:  A rubber wheel.

Tatercrater: Hole dug in mashed potatoes to keep the gravy in.

Taut: Educated.

Tautology: Study of anxiety.

Telepathy: Minding someone else’s business.

Ten Letters

Thesaurus: Extinct dinosaur with phenomenal vocabulary.

Testicle: Humourous exam question.

Test tube baby: In a glass by itself.

Theft: What you seize is what you get.

Thief: Person who finds things before the owner loses them.

Thimble: Symbol for people with a lisp.

Thongs: What Thinatra thang.

Threek: Fork with a bent tine.

Tibia: Country in North Africa.

Time: 1) An illusion perpetrated by the makers of space. 2) A way of preventing that everything happens simultaneously.

Toad: What happens to an illegally parked frog.

Today: Yesterday’s affect and tomorrow’s cause.

Tomato paste: Used to fix broken tomatoes.

Tomorrow: 1) Today’s greatest labor saving device. 2) Yesterday soon enough.

Tommororororororo: Lawn mower that won't start.

Toothache: Pain that drives you to extraction.

Trackball: Computer mouse that went belly up.

Truncate: The process of shortening a line to a specif

Trapezoid: Device for catching zoids.

Tricycle: Tot rod.

Tripoli: Apparel size; I went to buy a bra but I couldn't find a Tripoli.

Trombone: A slide whistle with delusions of grandeur.

Tumor: Extra pair.

Twin birth: Infant replay.

Two words

Typo:  The most common kind of blood.


More Funny Definitions

AB         CD         EFG         HIJKL         MNOP         UVWXYZ


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