Child Safe Content
2001-2017 Systemagic Productions
Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.
Quantum particles: The dreams that stuff is made of.
Rabbit: Small portion of a Rabbi.
Racism: 1) Convincing argument against proponent’s racial superiority. 2) Pigment of the imagination.
Radioactive: Individual who can't work without music.
Ramification: Consequence forced down one's throat.
Ramshackle: Chains for a male sheep.
Ratification: Adorning your home with rodents.
Rats: Entitled power or privileges. ie. "We’re willing to fat for our rats."
Reasoning Circular: See Circular Reasoning.
Receding hare line: A bunch of bunnies hopping backwards.
Recovery Room: Upholstering chamber.
Recursive: (see Recursive)
Refined: Locate again.
Relationships: All the yachts your family owns.
Relief: What trees do in the spring
Reintarnation: Returning in your next life as a hillbilly.
2 shud be 5. 2's rally "No Whittled Idols.".
3's gud advace but, made up so, breakin' itself. 3's rally "Don't use God as a cuss word.".
4. "Sunday's Holy.".
5's frum Luke'n Mathew with "an everyun's just lak you" added. (The Prime Directive.) 5's 2.
8 an 9 er switched.
Repercussions: Consequences of playing drums loudly.
Reputation: What others are not thinking about you.
Research: To look for something twice.
Reservations: Why natives were here first and what they had about us.
Resume': The closest most come to perfection.
Retard: Past tense of retire.
Rhode Island: Texas after Canadian taxes.
Rocks: The original unfinished furniture.
Rootine: Dental work.Rose: Colour the sun was at dawn.
Rotisserie: A Ferris wheel for chickens.
Rubberneck: What you do to relax your wife
Russian: Guy who sits on nothing and dances.
Rustle: The sound of cows being stolen.
Sailing: Mast transit.
Sales talk: Trade wind.
Sandwich: An faulty attempt to make both ends meat.
Sarcasm: 1) Barbed Ire. 2) Quiplash.
Scamp: Camp for impish people.
Scamper: The silly way they walk in scamps.
Scar: Rolled tobacco leaf.
School: Building with four walls and tomorrow inside.
Schwiggle: The amusing rotation of one's bottom while sharpening a pencil.
Sculptor: A poor guy who makes faces and busts.
Season: Neptune's kid.
Seamstress: 50 pounds in a size six.
Secret: Something we tell everyone not to tell anyone.
Secretion: Hiding something.
Security: What guards drink.
Sedimental: Sappy syrupy sloppy gush.
Seed: Past tense of the verb 'to see'.
Seizure: Roman Emperor.
Selfish: What the owner of a seafood store does.
Semantics: Pranks conducted by young priesthood students.
Semi-conductor: One who directs 18 wheelers.
Senility: When you're years beyond your wise.
Shakespeare: What to do to frighten the enemy.
Shamrock: Cubic zirconia.
Shellfish: A lobster that wants everything his way.
Sharewear: Used clothing.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Shipment: Sent by car, as opposed to cargo, which is sent by ship.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
Silicon: An idiotic prisoner
Silverfish: Less valuable than a goldfish.
Single: Footloose and fiancée free.
Skinheads: More hair than brains.
Skydiving: Good till the last drop.
Slay ride. Automobile excursion with a Mafia hitman.
Sleep: 1) A poor substitute for caffeine. 2) Fleeting moment just before the alarm.
Sleeping bag: Nap sack.
Smile: 1) Mirth Mark. 2) Curve that sets things straight.
Snackmosphere: The 95% air inside bags of potato chips.
Snowbank: Where Eskimos keep their money.
Spare Time: You're lookin' at it.
Spelunk: The sound someone makes when they hit the bottom of a cave.
Spinster: Woman who has never learned to tie a beau.
Spokesperson: Bicycle wheel manufacturer.
Spongecake: Dessert made of borrowed ingredients.
Squeegie Begger: Windshield viper.
Stagecoach: Drama teacher.
Stain: Remain inside.
Stick: A boomerang that doesn’t work.
Subdued: Like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man
Sudzicle: Ice-cold beer.
Sunbather: A fry in the ointment.Sunburn: Getting more than you basked for.
Supercomputer: What it sounded like before you bought it.
Supreme Court: (1) It corrects the errors of the lower courts by perpetuating its own. (2) Where people go if they have anything left after getting out of the lower courts
Surrogate mother: Hired labour.
Suspicion: Why do you want to know?
Symphony: Pretending to feel sad for someone.
Synonym: Spice for baked apples or buns
Syntax: Money collected in church.
Tablet: Small table.
Tact: 1) Getting your point across without stabbing someone with it. 2) Recalling a lady’s birthday but forgetting her age. 3) Knowing how far to go too far.4) Rubbing out another's mistake instead or rubbing it in.
5) Describing others as they see themselves.
Tactics: Breath fresheners for dyslexics.
A rubber wheel.
Tatercrater: Hole dug in mashed potatoes to keep the gravy in.
Tautology: Study of anxiety.
Telepathy: Minding someone else’s business.
Thesaurus: Extinct dinosaur with phenomenal vocabulary.
Testicle: Humourous exam question.
Test tube baby: In a glass by itself.
Theft: What you seize is what you get.
Thief: Person who finds things before the owner loses them.
Thimble: Symbol for people with a lisp.
Thongs: What Thinatra thang.
Threek: Fork with a bent tine.
Tibia: Country in North Africa.
Time: 1) An illusion perpetrated by the makers of space. 2) A way of preventing that everything happens simultaneously.
Toad: What happens to an illegally parked frog.
Today: Yesterday’s affect and tomorrow’s cause.
Tomato paste: Used to fix broken tomatoes.
Tomorrow: 1) Today’s greatest labor saving device. 2) Yesterday soon enough.
Tommororororororo: Lawn mower that won't start.
Toothache: Pain that drives you to extraction.
Trackball: Computer mouse that went belly up.
Truncate: The process of shortening a line to a specif
Trapezoid: Device for catching zoids.
Tricycle: Tot rod.
Tripoli: Apparel size; I went to buy a bra but I couldn't find a Tripoli.
Trombone: A slide whistle with delusions of grandeur.
Tumor: Extra pair.
Twin birth: Infant replay.
Typo: The most common kind of blood.
More Funny Definitions
AB CD EFG HIJKL MNOP UVWXYZ
Positive Adjective Glossary