Expand Your Vocabulary

Ó2001 Systemagic Productions  

P.

Paint: Substance applied before using paint remover.

Paper clip: Larval stage of a coat hanger.

Papsmear: Fatherhood test.

Parables: Two male bovines.

Paradise: 1) Two cubes with dots on them. 2) Exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Paralyze: "The check's in the mail" and "Trust Me".

Paranoia: Believing this definition was is written about you.

Paranoid: Someone who just figured out what’s going on.

Partnership: Co-invested boat.

Patent: Camping shelter for dad.

Patience: Wait control.

PC Upgrade: Take the old bugs out, put new ones in

Peeping Tom: 1) A perverted cat on stilts. 2) A Guy too lazy to go to the Beach.

Penis: Urinate into this.

Penitent: Camping shelter that costs only one cent and is really very sorry about it.

Persephone: Greek goddess of bills.

Personal Computing: Terminal Disease.

Petting: Study of anatomy in Braille.

Pharmacist: Setting up the goal shot on the farm.

Phony: Long distance fraud perpetrator.

Phrase: What teaching music does to your nerves.

Physicist: An atom’s way of knowing about atoms.

Physics: Reverse-engineering the universe.

Pickle: A cucumber soured by a jarring experience.

Pillaging: Looting a drugstore.

Pixel: Tinkerbell after the hormone shots.

Plagiarism: Copying from one source; (research is copying from two or more.)

Plasma is another matter.

Playboy: A hedonist looking for consenting shedonists.

Polarize: What penguins see with.

Politics: 1)The most promising of all careers. 2) The entertainment branch of industry. 3) Parrot parasites.

Polo: Horse Hockey

Polygon: A missing parrot.

Polytheism: Belief that God is a parrot.

Pompomposity: Cheerleader arrogance.

Portent: Dwelling for underprivileged campers.

Portly: Unseaworthy.

Post operative: Letter carrier

Prediction: You will read this word right now - ginch!

Psychopath: Any urban thoroughfare during rush hour.

Pontoon:  Cartoon left as security for a loan.

Porcupine: A squirrel having a bad hair day.

Porridge: [P]utrid, h[ORRI]d and slu[DGE].

Pose: Property of Edgar Allan.

Postoperative: Letter carrier.

Praise: Letting off esteem.

Pregnancy: Seems like a maternity.

Prelude: Foreplay.

President: see: Scapegoat.

Pretext: Foreword.

Principle: School leader.

Problem Drinker: The one who never buys.

Procatstinate: When a cat can't decide to go out or stay inside.

Procrastination: A habit you can put off trying to correct.

Profanity: The universal programming language

Profitability: Fortune telling talent.

Pronoia: The suspicion that others are conspiring behind your back to help you.

Protein: Favouring adolescence.

Psychiatrist: Person who’ll listen to you as long as you don’t make sense.

Psychopath: The fun route.

Pun: 1) Its own reword. 2) Groan-up.

Purrverse: Poem about a strange kitty. (click here)

      Public-spirited presentations please people.  Positive projections produce pleasant perspectives, promising positions, and picturesque psychological places plus, pessimism postponed, phenomenal psychic parameters - perfect packages for popular pleasure. The point is penultimately practical: Personal or professional, presenting piquant, playful, polite, philanthropic, and principled projections is practicable as a paramount priority.  Please proceed producing positive pastimes prevalently. It’s provocative, powerful and a precious privilege.  Postpone procrastination - participate!