Expand Your Vocabulary

Ó2001 Systemagic Productions  

 M.

Macro:  The last half of an expression of surprise: Holy Macro.

Madam:  For whom the belles toil.

Mahatma:  Asking mother for hat as in: ‘Where’s Mahatma?’

Mainframe:  The biggest PC peripheral available.

Maintenance free:  Impossible to fix.

Mandate:  Rendezvous with a guy.

Manners: Noises you don’t make while eating soup.

Maniac: An early computer built by crazy people.

Mathematician: Sum worshipper.

Matrimony:  Loan from your mother.

Marijuana: A substance which can cause deterioration of mental functioning and a tendency toward paranoia in chronic non-users.

Marriage:  1) A sentence, not a word. 2) When the man loses his bachelor degree and the women earns her master’s 3) Only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. 4) The mourning after the knot before. 5) Three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering. 6) Foreplay for divorce.

May: A month when you might.  

Mayem: Confusion regarding spring skirt lengths.

Meanderthal: A slow moving aimless individual annoying the heck out of the impatient person behind him.

Megahertz: Great pain.

Megaphone: 1 million microphones.

Menopause: When one stops and reflects upon men.

Merriment: Intended to wed.

Metamorphic geologists: Gneiss people.

Metronome: City dwarf.

Microchips:  The stuff in the bottom of the snack-food bag.

Microfiche:  Extremely small French fish.

Microwave: A very tiny greeting.

Middle Age: 1) When your age starts to show at your middle. 2) A time when a man thinks that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. 3) When actions creak louder than words.

Mid-evil: Surrounded by the bad guys.

Migraine: Not your wheat - mine.

Minimalism:  

Miser: Someone who earns money the hoard way.

Mississippi: Hippie’s wife.

Misfortune:  Well,...do you?

Mistress: Something between a Mr. and a mattress.

Misty: How golfers create divots.

Modem: 1) What to do to tall weeds. 2) How a southerner asks for seconds.

Monday: 1) Root of all evil 2) In Christian countries, the day after the football game.

Money: A mint makes it first and we try to make it last.

Monkey Thump: Bruise on a banana.

Monopoly: Economic monster made in the image of its Creator, the State

Monotheism:  Gift from the Gods.

Moraine:  Typical weather forecast.

Morbid: Higher offer.

Morning: Cause for alarm.

Mosquitoes: Insects designed to make flies seem nicer.

Motherboard: Hardware that’s a maternal turn-off.

Motherhood:  1. Mother of Robin Hood.  2. What a baby kangaroo rides in.

Mother’s Day: Nine months after fathers day.

Motivated: Freshly cut lawn condition.

Mug Shot: Photo of a coffee cup.

Museum: U see 'em - u muse.

Myth:  An unwed female moth.

Positive Adjective Glossary