Expand Your Vocabulary
D
Ó2001
Systemagic Productions
Dachshund: Half a dog high by a dog and a half long.
Dalmatian:
Consignment to Hell.
Dancing: A vertical manifestation of a horizontal desire.
Dare: Not here... dare!
Daze: Opposite of knights.
Dead: Terminally inconvenienced.
Death: 1) Something you can live without. 2) Natures was of telling you to slow down.
Debunk: Where de cowboy sleeps.
Decaf:
1) Used to sober up after drinking non-alcholic beer. 2) To deliver a
newborn bovine.
Decimate:
Breed with ten people.
Decrease: De fold in de pants.
Define: De ting you get fo' breakin' de law.
Deja
Stew: Leftovers
Delicate: A dainty kitten who likes kosher food.
Democracy: How voters choose who to blame.
Demote: What de king put round
de castle.
Denial: A river in Egypt.
Dense: What your car gets in a fender bender.
Dentist: One who lives from hand to mouth.
Depth: Height turned upside down.
Depressed: Wrinkled
Derive: Something to
avoid when you derink.
Dermatology: Rash judgments.
Derange: A place where de cowboys ride.
Deranged: Driven off the ranch.
Dermatology: Rash
judgments.
Deserter: Soldier who stuffs himself with all the ice cream and cream cakes.
Desk: A large wastebasket with drawers and a phone
Despair: De extra tire in de trunk.
Despise: People who work for
the CIA.
Destabilize: To take the horse out for a trot.
Dessert: The reason for eating a meal.
Detention: What causes de stress.
Deviated Septum: A septum with
strange cravings.
Dew: Air that looks wet.
Diagnostic: To expire not knowing whether God exists.
Diarrhea: Journal of daily events.
Diary: Book of revelations.
Dictator: Another name for
Richard Spud.
Diatonic: Low fat drink.
Diet:
1) For people who are thick and tired of it all. 2) Gut reaction.
3) Triumph of mind over platter. 4) What some women do to their hair.
DiJon Vu: The feeling that you've tasted this mustard before.
Dilate: To live long.
Dilemma: A pickle.
Dime: Dollar after taxes.
Dimple: Pimple going the other way.
Diode: What happens to people who don't die young.
Dioxen: What you shout as you
kill a bunch of buffalo-like cattle.
Diploma: Di man who fixes di pipes.
Diplomacy: 1) The art of letting someone else get your way. 2) Lying in state.
Dipthong: Bimbo in a string
bikini who slurs her speech.
Disappointment: Particular meeting.
Discord: Not to be confuse with Datcord.
Discount: CD store
inventory.
Disgruntled: Pigs
with laryngitis.
Dispirited: Out of
gin.
Distain: The one on your pants.
DNA: The building block of life and appropriately shaped like a spiral staircase to nowhere.
Doctor: Cures ills with pills and kills with bills.
Doghouse: Mutt hut.
Dog Pound: Used cur lot.
Dogma: Puppy's mom.
Dogmatic: Man's best mechanical friend.
Dogmatism: Fully grown puppymatism.
Doltergeist: A spirit that
decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank.
Douche: Latin for twelve.
Draft: An ill wind from which many a young man has caught his death.
Dramatize: What well-dressed actors wear.
Drug: A substance that, when injected into a rat, produces a scientific paper.
Duck: Chicken on snow shoes.
Duel: A fight over love & money or jealousy & infidelity for example.Duet: Don't just sit there!
Due Tomorrow: Do tomorrow.
Dust Rags: See "Dad’s
Underwear"
Dyslexia: Beeing Sackwards.
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