Expand Your Vocabulary
Copyright 2001 Systemagic Productions
B.
Baby-Sitter: 1) A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that adults may behave like teen-agers. 2) One you hire to watch TV.
Bachelor: 1) A man who Mrs. nothing. 2) An unaltared male.
Bacteria:
Lunchroom for chiropractors.
Bail:
Made hay.
Bailiff:
Dried up leaf, used in cooking.
Bald: When you’re taller than your hair.
Balderdash:
Rapidly receding hairline.
Baloney: Where some hemlines fall.
Banality: Any joke about a banana. For example:..
Bananosecond:
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement.
Bandwidth: Limited
by the size of the stage.
Bar:
What a Southerner hunts in the woods.
Bar Stool: What hillbillies
sometimes step in.
Barbarous:
Bad hair cut.
Bard: Past tense of "to borrow."
Bargain: Buy
two soaps and get one free.
Barium:
What you do with dead chemists.
Baroque:
When you are out of Monet.
Barren: A naked bird.
Baud Rate: Prostitution Fee.
Bawlroom: Hospital nursery.
Beach: Where girls go when they have nothing to wear.
Beach Wiccan: A sand witch.
Beatnik:
Santa Claus the day after Christmas.
Beauty: 1) [Internal] A quality that most times comes from within - jars, tubes and bottles; 2) [External] Given by Mother Nature and taken by Father Time.
Beauty
parlour: A place where women
curl up and dye.
Bee: Fly with a fur coat.
Beheading: Loss of face.
Belittle:
Shrink!
Belly
button: Salt holder when eating celery in bed
Benign:
What you be after you be eight.
Bernadette: The act of
torching a mortgage.
Bigamist:
An Italian fog.
Bigamy: Only crime where two rites make a wrong.
Bigotry:
One of the California redwoods.
Bikini: Public Waist.
Bipolar: Eskimo marketing slogan.
Bit: Unit by which computer programmers lose their sanity.
Black hole: 1) God dividing by zero. 2) The "subway" of the universe.
Blunderbuss:
Vehicle used for random traveling.
Book: The original random access device.
Bottom: What the shopper did
when she found the shoes that she wanted.
Boulder: Less timid.
Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
Bother: a Pooh poo.
Bouyant: Male hill insect.
Bore: Someone who talks about himself when he should be talking about yourself.
Bowel: A letter like A, E, I, O, or U.
Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think.
Breadth:
A wide loaf.
Buccaneer: Unit cost of corn on the cob.
Bucktooth: Going rate for the
tooth fairy.
Budget: 1) A record of what the money should have been spent for.2) Methodical debt incursion.
Buffalo:
Greeting between two nudists.
Buffet: French
for making a pig of yourself.
Bulimia: Retched excess.
Bulldozer:
Someone who sleeps through political speeches.
Bungalow:
Unfortunate buffalo that can't do anything right.
Bunion: Paul's surname.
Bunny: Bakery characteristic.
Bureaucat: A kitty who sleeps on your undies.
Burglarize: What a crook sees with.
Bust:
Stone representation of someone ahead of their time.
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