Expand Your Vocabulary

Ó2001 Systemagic Productions

A.

Aaaack: Utterance upon running face first into a spider web  - and realizing that you don't know where the spider is now.

Aardvark: The honest way to make money.  

Abash: A great party.

Abdominal: Legendary snowman.

Abominable: What you have when a male bovine swallows dynamite. 

Abort: To correct a misconception.

Abortion: Loves Labor Lost.

Absentee: Missing golf accessory.

Abstract Logic: 1. See definition two. 2. See definition one. 

Abundance: Big party held in a bakery.

Abundunce:  A dumb bunny.  

Acclaim: Something a good insurance agent knows how to handle.

Accordion: Pleated bagpipe.

Accordianated: Ability to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

Accountant:  1) Person who feels good when things are looking black. 2) One who uses your books to figure his profit.

Accrue:  People who run a ship.

Accumulate:  Slang way of asking, "Why are you tardy?"

Acetone: 1) That’s the sound when you pick up the phone. 2) What you do in exercise class.  

Acme: Pimples on the tip of your nose.

Acoustic: What you play pool with.

Acquit: Fed-up employee statement.

Acupuncture: A jab well done.

Adamant: The first insect.

Address: Attire worn by some females.

Adventure:  Somewhere between entertainment and panic.

After dinner mint: Funds required upon receipt of check.

Aftermath:  Period following algebra.

Air pollution: Mist demeanor.

Airplane: A lot of parts flying in close formation.

Alarm clock: Machine that scares the daylights into people without kids.

Alas:  Early Victorian for ‘Oh Hell’

Alcoholic: A person who drinks more than his physician. 

Algebra: What the Little Mermaid wears.

Alimony: 1) Fee for name-dropping. 2) Bye now, pay later. 3) Bounty after the mutiny. 4) The high cost of leaving. 5) The billing without the cooing.

Aloha:  Reduce volume; ‘please speak in aloha voice.’

Alone: What the bank leaves you.

Alphabet: Fifty percent of a wager.

Allure: See Debate.

Alp: A European skier’s shout for assistance.

Ambidextrose: Able to put sugar in coffee with both hands.

Amenable: A prayer. 

America: One nation, under God, with liberty, large fries, and a Coke to go.

Amidst:  Thick fog.

Amoebit:  Amoeba/rabbit cross able to multiply and divide at the same time.

Anaerobic: Unwilling to exercise.

Anally: Occurring yearly.

Anno Domini (AD): No more dominoes.

Antacid: Hallucinogenic drugs used by little bugs.

Ants:  People who marry uncles.

Antiquarian:  Ant born between Jan 21-Feb 23.

Antelope: A type of family scandal.

Apathy:  Who cares?

Apex: Former spouse of a gorilla.

Apparent: One's mother or father.

Apricot: Where a baby gorilla sleeps.

Aquarium:  Interactive television for cats.  

Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after accidentally walking through a spider web.

Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.

Archaic: What we eat after ar dinner.

Archaeologist: 1) Ghoul with credentials. 2) Person whose career lies in ruins.

Armadillo: 1) Possum on the half-shell. 2) Texas speed bump.

Aroma: Whisper heard by nose.

Aromatic: Automatic longbow.

Arson: Not ar daughter.

Array: What comes out of Buck Roger's gun.  

Arrays: What you demand from your boss.

Arrears: Our two organs of hearing.

Arteologist: One who digs old paintings.

Artery: Study of paintings.

Artifact:  Something only an art major would know.

Artistic License: You're looking at it.  

Aspiration: Butt sweat.

Aspirin:  Having great ambitions.

Asset:  A little donkey.

Astronaut:  Whirled traveler.

Astronomer:  Night watchman.

Atheism: 1) A deep religious faith in the non-existence of God. 2) A non-prophet organization.

Atheist: One with no invisible means of support.

Atomizer: Cheapskate who hoards microscopic particles.

Attorney:  Major sporting event.

Audiophile: Stereotype.

Authorize: What writers see with.

Automobile:  A four-wheeled vehicle that runs up hills and down pedestrians.

Autumn: When nature goes baroque.  

Awestruck: Feeling when your team loses unexpectedly.

Avoidable: What a bullfighter does.

Axe: Inquire

            Assertions, as advanced abstractions, alter actions.  Actions ascertain an aggressive anima, or alternatively, admirable attributes.  Actions also animate and alter authentic affections.  The active articles among abstraction and action are assertions.  Acceptable assertions are abiding, accomplished, admirable, altruistic and absolutely appealing.

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